Loved
by Lostliveson4eva
Summary: All I ever wanted was to be loved by my family. Is that so much to asks for? I guess it was. Story of Clove and why she volunteered for the games.


I never wanted to participate in the games. I always thought they were just for people who had something to prove or just wanted the fame. I never thought that I would ever compete in them, I had no reason to. That is, until the day when I found out what my parents though of me. They never wanted me, they wanted a son. They thought that I couldn't do anything that a man could do, like compete in the games. That's when I decided to prove them wrong.

_Its the day of the reaping and I am planning on volunteering. I will show my parents that I have what it takes. I can do anything a man can do, just watch me. I will show everyone who had doubts about me; I will win. _

_I reach the square a few minutes early. The mayor walks up to the podium and goes through the whole history of Panem, but I zone that part out. Then our escort, Luna Kepp, comes up to the podium. She has blue hair, probably a wig, and a big fake smile plastered on her face._

_"Lady's first," She says in her Capitol accent. She reaches her hand in the ball, "Kala Gomp," She says in a loud, clear voice. Kala starts to walk up to the stage and Luna asks for volunteers. Before anyone else can do it, I shout that I volunteer. She looks my way and I stand there proudly. She gives me a smile and calls me up to the stage. I look at my parents, my mom has a bored expression on her face and my dad has a look of disgust on his. My heart sinks, I though they would be proud of me. My shoulders slump a little but I quickly stand up taller._

_"What is your name?" Luna asks me._

_"Clove Wimer," I tell her bright and clear. She nods and walks to the boys section as a few people clap. I watch as her hand slides into the ball and pulls out a small white slip._

_"Mason Livington," She said proudly. He starts walking up but a blond boy steps forward and volunteers before anyone can move. _

_"Okay, I see we have a volunteer again," She says and I can tell she is happy that everyone wants to compete. She calls the blond boy up and asks for his name._

_"Cato Barcali," He says, strongly. His face is a straight mask and he shows no emotion; he will probably be one of the most threatening of all the contestants. He comes over to shake my hand, forcefully. He glares at me and I stand there glaring back. I can tell there is already a competition between us. This shall be interesting._

Now here I am in the games, there are only six of us left, only four more to kill because now Cato and I are a team. There is a feast tonight that we will go to to get what we really need. There really is nothing that we a desperate for, so I have no clue what is in the pack for us. I guess we will have to find out. This whole time I have been trying to impress Cato and my parents. Cato really thinks he is the best and since we don't need to kill each other, we both want to prove that we are better than the other. So I will be the one who kills the Everdeen girl. Cato says he wants to do it but I will show him that I am just as capable of doing the deed.

I run to the feast ahead of Cato so I can get the chance to kill her if I see her. I just reach the line of the trees when I see District 5 run into the woods. Then I see District 12 run to the table that holds the packs. _'Perfect' _I think. She will be easy. I run up to her and throw a knife at her, it hits her forehead. She tries to hit me with her arrow but it misses. I run up to her quickly and ram into her. She falls to the ground and I pin her there. This is where her life will end!

"Where's your boyfriend, District 12? Still hanging on?" I ask her.

"He's out there now. Hunting Cato," She tells me. I know it's a lie. We hurt that boy badly, he wont be going anywhere anytime soon. "Peeta!" She screams. I jam my fist into her windpipe to shut her up. Just in case, I turn my head, looking to make sure he isn't there. Of course he's not!

"Liar," I say with a grin. "He's nearly dead. Cato knows where he cut him. You've probably got him strapped up in some tree while you keep his heart going. What's in the pretty little backpack? That medicine for Lover Boy? Too bad he'll never get it." I sneer at her. Then I open my jacket to show her all the knives I have. I decide to select the most harmful looking one. It has a sharp, curved blade. "I promise Cato if he let me have you, I'd give the audience a good show." I lie, I just want her to know it will be painful. It will be an amazing show.

She tries to get out of my grip but that just makes me grip her harder. "Forget it, District 12. We're going to kill you. Just like we killed you're pathetic little ally... what was her name? The one who hopped around in the trees? Rue? Well, first Rue, then you, and then I think we'll just let nature take care of Lover Boy. How does that sound? Now where to start?" I ask her. This is going to be fun. I will prove to everybody that I have what it takes to fight! My parents will be so proud of me. They will no longer wish they had a son.

I wipe the blood from her forehead with my sleeve. I study her face, thinking about where to start this fun. She tries to bit me so I grab her hair and pull it back.

"I think..." I purr, "I think we'll start with your mouth." She clamps her mouth shut as I trace her lips with my knife. She stares me down with anger and I see hope in her eyes. She will not go down without dignity. She probably is thinking about her family and how they will watch her die. They probably love her unlike my family. She probably has people she likes to call mom and dad. Not people who just act like the part in front of other people. She probably had people come and say goodbye to her. She had everything I didn't, people who cared.

"Yes, I don't think you'll have much use for your lips anymore. Want to blow Lover Boy one last kiss?" She flushes with rage and spits in my face. That make me so mad that I decide it's time to start. "All right then. Let's get started."

I put the tip of my knife to her mouth before I am pulled up by something. I think for a second that it's Cato and he caught me about to kill the girl he was saving for himself. I start screaming when I see that it is District 11 and not Cato. He flips me around and flings me to the ground.

"What'd you do to that little girl? You kill her?" He screams at me. I scramble backwards, away from him.

"No! No, it wasn't me!" I say, frantically.

"You said her name. I heard you! You kill her?" His face just gets angrier, "You cut her up like you were going to cut up this girl here?" He asks.

"No! No I-" That's when I see the stone in his hand. I am going to die right now. I will prove my parents were right. I am nothing but a silly girl who thinks she can do anything. I guess I was wrong. I can't give up though. "Cato! Cato!" I scream, hoping he is close by.

"Clove!" I hear him answer, but he is too far away. I will be dead in a matter of minutes. That's when District 11 brings the rock down on my head, hard. I collapse, knowing I don't have much time. I want to cry out that I am sorry, sorry for being a lousy daughter, sorry for not being what my parents wanted, sorry for not being loved. I can't find my voice though, it is gone just like I will be. I have failed my mission, winning the Hunger Games, but I know it goes deeper than that. I became a monster in these games. I thought they brought happiness, but I was wrong. They bring only death to people like me. The District 12 girl will probably win because she's not a monster. Death won't come to her. I can see that now.

"Clove!" I hear Cato shout. He is much closer now, he can see me lying there. I lie there, thinking about what has become of me. I only wanted to impress my parents. I only wanted to be loved by them. Is that so much to ask? I guess it is because now I lay her dying, while my parents probably don't shed a single tear. The others are gone now. District 11 spared the girls life. Cato is next to me and I can tell he is probably more upset then my own family. He's telling me to stay with him, but I don't want to. I just want to die because I failed; I failed at being a true person. I decide to just let myself go then, it's not like I can hold on any longer anyway. I'm just a monster made by the Capitol.

And** nobody** loves a monster.


End file.
